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I haven’t written in a few days because the depression is constant and it’s no fun to write about, let alone read. It’s pissing me off because it’s summer and work is finally going well and all I can think about is how terrible I feel. I’m like cat shit on cake.

I am so exhausted. Due to the ulcer coffee is out of the question so I’ve been sucking down soda to get caffiene into my body. The exhaustion is most likely caused by a) the depression, b) the higher depakote dosage and c) a complete lack of exercise. I’d whine about exercise but you know the drill. So for now I will rely on stimulants to keep me in motion.

Wish me luck with the depression. There is not a whole lot that can be done about it. SSRIs make me manic and unstable for the most part and Lamictal is not my friend. There doesn’t seem to be a lot available for bipolar depression, unlike bipolar mania. There’s Geodon (ziprasidone) but I don’t know if being more forgetful than grandpa after several drinks is worth it. I’ve been on Lexapro (escitalopram oxalate). While it worked well, it caused teeth clenching. I cracked three molars. Crowns are expensive.

Guess it’s time to call the psychiatrist.