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Meds seem to be working and I am generally feeling more stable. Although I screwed up and drank regular coffee instead of decaf yesterday which nullified all of my meds. I was pretty much ruined for the day. *oh the drama*
The bad news is that I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II. This sucks, the meds suck, life just generally sucks.
I was diagnosed in August with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) but am beginning to wonder if I actually have bipolar II disorder instead. Mostly because of the cycling. I keep reading about people with GAD having the excessive thoughts and worrying but not the emotional cycling that I have. Then there was the reaction that I had with the Cymbalta which made the cycling 1000 times worse and made me want to bash my head into a wall to make it stop. SSRIs and multiple reuptake inhibitors are known to cause these symptoms in people with bipolar disorder. My original diagnosis several years ago was bipolar but was changed because I never had mania. Now there’s bipolar II disorder where the depression is the more dominant symptom with little to no mania. It’s all so confusing. What I do know is that the meds suck but I am going to follow up on a suggestion and speak with my doctor next week about a mood stabilizing drug.
This is a really depressing post isn’t it? I keep thinking that I shouldn’t write about things like being crazy or liking men or wanting more piercings but then I think that this is exactly why I should write about these things. To dispel the stigmas attached to them and to get over my fear of offending people. I was told recently that I need to get over myself. I think what I actually need is to get over getting over myself. But then I’m crazy so don’t listen to me.
Those who speak